There is no harmony, there is chaos
by Chocolatam
Summary: What will happen if a young fanfiction author is teleported to the galaxy far, far away—not just once, but many times? Read to find out! Self-insertion fic. Very random. Rated for language and mild violence. Edited Ch2. Ch4 WIP.
1. Chapter 1

I look at my surroundings in confusion. Where am I?I'm not supposed to be in this… what is this place anyway? One second ago, I was doodling in class!

"What the hell just happened? What is happening?" I demand to the wind. No answer. Ugh. I sit on the ground and start twirling my hair… wait. What is this… tangled strand of hair? I just brushed my hair this morning!

When I try to pull it—I can't seem to separate those hair! Stang! It's in a tight little braid!

Wait.

_A little braid hanging from behind my right ear?_

Then, as I look at my clothes—brown robes and tunic instead of my uniform—I get more and more confused. It's impossible! There's no way I'm a…

Well, a voice confirms my suspicion. "Padawan!" it called. I blinked. Maybe drawing Star Wars characters when the teacher's boring the students to death is not a good idea.

"You left these," the man (my 'master', I think) says, handing me something I'm not familiar with along with little blue crystals. _Are these lightsaber components? _I want to ask, but I decide against it, for it will raise suspicion. "Yes, Master," I reply. I put the components in a line on the table in front of me, my expression clueless.

But I realize, if I'm here, maybe I can use the Force! I try picturing the components floating towards me, and, well, it worked! I never knew I can do that!

_Now, the next step. _A line from a fanfiction pops into my head. 'You must align the crystals correctly, with the Force. If you fail to do so, you'll be blown up to pieces…'

_BLOWN UP TO PIECES?_

I'm not ready to die! I haven't even graduated! What will my family do? How will my friends react? How about my Fanfiction account?

Apparently, my 'master' senses my anxiety, for he says 'Focus on the present' and 'calm yourself'. So I take a deep breath and release it. _Inhale, exhale. Inhale, exhale. _Damn, I can't focus! Breathing like that reminds me of my friend's hilarious imitation of Darth Vader's.

"Come on, Aira. You can do it,"

I don't know what happened next, maybe I was surprised when he said my name (how on earth did he find out?) or something, but the only thing I remember is an explosion. We are now, as the Jedi say, one with the Force.

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Author's Note: The 'I' character is based on me, all right. I like to doodle in classes, swear often, and I really have a friend who loves to imitate DV's breathing. He even said that if there's a chance, he'll do that in the school communication place where everyone can hear it from speakers. However, some facts are changed for my own safety… ;)

The fanfiction line about lightsaber-making is real (not exact quoting, though). In fact, that is the very quote that inspired me to write this fic!

BTW, forgive me for the long AN, possible typos, and grammar errors. Thanks for reading and don't forget to review (requests/ideas are appreciated, and maybe accepted)! See ya in the next chap! :D


	2. Chapter 2

There is no harmony; there is chaos

Chapter 2

I hadn't expected to be back in class after the lightsaber accident (I refuse to say 'my death', it's too creepy). But here I am, on my seat with pencil in hand, drawing. I turn to Tyra who sits beside me. "Did I miss anything?" I ask in a whisper. She looks incredulous, but she only shakes her head. So… time paused? Cool!

For fear of dying (again), I put my pencil down and pay attention to whatever the teacher is saying.

Thankfully, school went rather uneventful, except when Roan confessed his love to Aimee in front of the twenty-seven of us. Now I'm on my way home with my sister in silence… until we reach the real estate garden several hundred meters from her school.

"Aira, why are you so tall?"

"What?" I reply. She looks up longingly. "Oh, sis, don't worry, you'll grow." I assure her. She smiles, but pouted a second later. "But it's like… you're Darth Vader, and I'm R2-D2!"

"I'm only 5 feet 2," I say, laughing. "But if you really want to see the world from a higher place…"

She realizes what I mean and grins broadly. "Yay!"

I regret carrying my sister all the way home. Seriously, she's getting heavy! I make a mental note to tell my mother not to buy her any more sweets. Her weight plus my bag's make me unable to stand straight, and now she's yelling at me. "Faster! Faster!"

I groan. I really want to put her down, but she promised not to make me do this again. _Dream on, Aira. _My mind sneers. _She'll probably ask you again tomorrow._

Always the pessimist. But still—

Suddenly it becomes hard to draw air to my lungs. Before I know it, my vision blurs, and the last thing I hear is a scream.

Okay. I don't know why I passed out—I survived running for more than ten minutes non-stop when the sun was up!

Wait! I've regained consciousness… gotta… wake… up…

_Why is everything… reddish? _I think as my eyes open. "Shit," I mutter under my breath. Speaking of my breath, I feel like… every time I inhale, air is forced into my lungs! And it's audible!

Oh, no. Please don't tell me that I am who I think I am.

I try touching 'my'… face, but lifting 'my' hand—an easy task—becomes difficult and… Gah, it's so heavy and unresponsive! But at least I can see it… it's gloved… and stang, it's HUGE!

"Now what?!" a familiar voice whines. I stare at the person in front of me voicelessly (don't remind me of the respirator, please. I beg you). Seriously, if I wasn't trapped in Darth freaking Vader's body, I'd be very happy to meet the REAL Luke Skywalker!

_Now what? _His question repeats itself in my brain. I don't have any damn idea what to say! And I definitely don't want to talk in his freaky voice!

"You just cut off my hand, now why aren't you doing anything? Why aren't you trying to kill me or convince me to join the Dark Side? Don't just stand and breathe!"

_I cut off his hand? _I look at Luke, who's dangling helplessly on a pillar of some sort… with only one hand. Recognizing the scene, I know I'm supposed to tell him that Vader is his dad, but this is what I say instead:

"Sorry!"

Yeah, that's right. I just said sorry. And Luke's reaction is quite predictable, he goes all wide-eyed and his jaw drops to the point where his mouth can fit a melon. Well, it's not his fault, really. If I were in his position, I would do the same thing.

"Did you just say what I think you said?" Luke asks in disbelief. I nod slightly. Man, every aspect of him is heavy! "O…kay," The Jedi says, narrowing his eyes.

I deactivate my lightsaber and we begin to stare at each other for a long time. I don't know what he's thinking about, but I'm thinking about how I got here. The Force? Nah, that's fictional. Magic? Impossible! Hmmm… I think it's something my sister said…

_Like… you're Darth Vader, and I'm R2-D2…_

Oh, crap! Is my sister here? Did she turn into an astromech droid? Argh, I really want to scream all the curses I know!

I take a deep breath (please don't remind me of the blasted respirator) to calm myself. Just as I think it's working, my mind yells at me to get my sister. I sigh.

Yeah. I left Luke. Nice change from canon, huh? Now I'm lost.

Wait… Is that… Lando Calrissian? Hide! But... on second thought, I can't hide in this all-white building. Plus, I can't be completely silent with the woo-pah thing. Oh, crap. I'll just have to wait for someone to look for her—ah! Damn, how can I not realize? I have the whole freaking fleet at my disposal! Well, technically, since I'm trapped… and stuff.

So I walk around the mining facility to find an officer. Civilian… random guy… weird droid… hey, isn't that Lobot? …um… civilian… droid… droid… where the heck are they—yay, there's one! Now the only problem would be my acting skills.

What should I say? 'Hi, Mr. Officer, sir, can you _please_ find me that cute R2 unit? He's usually seen with his counterpart, a golden protocol droid named C-3PO. Thanks!'?

No… that'd be way too freaky. And horribly OOC. Um… how about… bah, they won't dare to question me anyway. On with the show!

After that, I walk to the poor officer (finally I'm getting used to the cursed suit. If I had to rate it on a scale of 0 to 10, I'd give me a 3. Maybe because it's temporary and the cape wasn't so restricting, I think–the play where I became a dancing vampire finally pays off) and vowed to make this as quickly as possible, since we're both feeling… uncomfortable.

"Yes, my lord?" the man asks, paling visibly. _Aw, sorry!_ But just saying, if this man sees me in my body, I think he won't be this… polite. He'll say 'what's this kid doing here?' and kick me out of Bespin. "Find the Rebels' R2 unit and bring it to me," I order, the impatience clear in my—Vader's—voice. I really am anxious. I feel like crying, but it's not a good idea in this time or place. The poor officer nods and walks away. Oh, I hope they find her…

Now I am really crying. Another officer told me that they can't find it (fearfully, of course) anywhere in this facility. "He lied," I mutter angrily, convincing myself that she—or Artoo is still here. It scares me that even in this… emotional breakdown, I still sound harsh and emotionless.

_Don't cry, _a voice from my memory says softly. It's… Rebecca's! Oh, Rebecca, I wish you were here. _Don't give up. Time won't pause for you._

_Okay, Rebecca,_ I mentally reply, _I won't give up._

So I straighten myself and leave my 'waiting spot', yelling my sister's name all the way. Unfortunately, when I see R2 and follow her, I bump into some people. Oh, sithspit.

"Vader!" Leia exclaims, pointing at me. Lando draws his blaster. "What the heck is he doing here?" he whispers loudly. I inwardly laugh. "Oh, no," Threepio wails before Chewbacca pulls him to their ship. At this point, Leia had also drawn her blaster. They start shooting and… yeah, as you imagine, I avoid the bolts clumsily. Where's my sister? _Call her! _My mind yells.

Strangely, they don't run to their ship. Maybe they're waiting for Luke. _Oh, well, who cares?! Now's the time. _"Sidney!"

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**I know, I know, bad cliffhanger. Though I edited this chapter many times, I'm not really happy with it. My writing skills (even in my own language) can't seem to catch up with my imagination… sorry!**

**Thx for reading and please review!**

**P.S.: Guest, whoever you are, thank you for reviewing! Great idea, by the way. I'm gonna use it in Aira's next journey.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Um… yeah, sorry it took forever to update. Darth School, Darth Real Life and lack of internet got in the way. Thanks to everyone who reviewed. Your support is…well, great. On with the madness!**

**(By the way, please _do _imagine the scenery as mentioned in the story and film. Don't forget the scene in which Vader/Aira running around in Cloud City like a complete moron. Oh, to anyone who wondered about Aira's sister's age, she's not that young, but she's just very short.)**

* * *

There is no harmony, there is chaos

Chapter 3

The only answer I got was blaster fire. Apparently, my appearance (or maybe my voice?) scared her. Agh, damn you, whoever you are, for designing this piece of crap! _Eh, not that crappy if I'm not the one who's wearing it,_ I correct myself.

"Sidney!" I yell, running from the gang of protagonists. "Sidney, it's me, Aira! Come on, I won't eat you alive!"

The firing didn't cease, so out of impatience, I pull Vader's lightsaber from 'my' belt and pressed the ignition button. Ah, I've always loved the hum of lightsabers. _STOP IT, IDIOT! GET SIDNEY! _I yelled to myself. After that, I…um, well, it's embarrassing, really, and I must look incredibly stupid in the armor, but I run to the protagonists, swinging the 'saber wildly—I can't even see anything—before pulling R2-D2 (or Sidney) closer to me and running back to an empty (well, I suppose it is) room.

_Cool, it_ is _empty!_ Is the first thought that comes to my mind upon entering the stark-white room. Behind me, Sidney (I don't think the real Artoo would follow Darth Vader anywhere…) beeps something that sounds like a mixture of gratitude and fear.

"Sidney," I ask as friendly as the vocoder allows me. "Is that you?"

She beeps an affirmative. At last!

"I'm so glad you're safe," I reply, pulling her into a tight hug. Her domed head turns to the unlocked door worriedly. _Aw, so adorable! _I find myself smiling. Sidney beeps frantically, apparently trying to tell me that the sight of Darth Vader hugging an astromech droid isn't really… appropriate. "Oh, sorry, I'll lock it—though I don't have any idea how…" I say the latter part more to myself than to my sister.

Thank God the door's easier to lock than my house's. "Now what are we going to do?" I wonder aloud. My sister rolls to me and produces annoyed beeps, probably saying 'It's your fault. You're the one who looooooves the freaky Star Wars'. "Don't blame me!" I yell. "_You're_ the one who said 'like you're Vader and I'm Artoo'!"

She rolled back fearfully—If she had been human, her eyes would've been wet with tears. I sighed. Once again, I realized the effect the vocoder gives my voice (and how my infamous temper affects her) much… too… late. I quickly stop myself from swearing, for her sake.

"Sidney…" my hand reaches out to her, "I'm sorry, Sidney, I didn't mean to!"

She rolls to the door and unlocks it with R2's metal claw. Her dome turns to me as if saying 'I'll never forgive you' childishly before leaving me alone, with the sound of my annoying breathing as my only company.

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**I apologize for the shortness of this chapter, it's a filler and I'm not that good at writing 'family interactions'. Give me some suggestions, maybe? Thanks and MTFBWY!**


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